EMMAY (lotusunset) wrote in capslock_sokkla,
EMMAY
lotusunset
capslock_sokkla

LULZY SOKKLA SHIP MANIFESTO

WARNING: THIS IS PURELY FOR LULZ.  THIS IS NOT A REAL MANIFESTO.  EVEN IF IT DOES MAKE SOME REALLY AWESOME POINTS.


THE SHOW-

DAMMIT, IF YOU'RE AT THIS COMM AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A:TLA IS, YOU NEED TO GO DIAF. OR GO CHECK OUT THE TOTALLY LAME AND NOT-CAPSLOCK AVATAR_FANS. NO, THIS IS NOT THAT SHITTY JAMES CAMERON MOVIE ABOUT HIS FUCKING BLUE FURRY FANTASY. IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS, THEN TITS OR GTFO.

THE PRINCESS-

PRINCESS AZULA IS NOT A DISNEY PRINCESS. FURRY WOODLAND CREATURES DO NOT COME TO HELP HER CLEAN AND DO OMG SPARKLY GOOD THINGS. AZULA EATS FURRY WOODLAND CREATURES FOR BREAKFAST. THE CUTER, THE MORE OMNOMNOM THEY ARE. AZULA FEEDS ON YOUR CUTE AND IT ONLY MAKES HER STRONGER! ANYWAY, WE THINK IT IS SAFE TO ASSUME THAT CONSIDERING GREY DELISLE IS HER VOICE ACTRESS, AZULA HAS A FANTASTIC SINGING VOICE. MORE THAN LIKELY, SHE USES IT TO MANIPULATE POOR, UNFORTUNATE SOULS.

AZULA IS A BAMF. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. A CRAZY, MANIPULATIVE BAMF. DON'T MESS WITH HER, SHE'LL KILL YOU. SHE'LL KILL YOU DEAD! SHE HAS SUPER AWESOME BLUE FIRE POWERS AND CAN HARNESS ENOUGH ELECTRICITY TO MAKE SURE CALIFORNIA NEVER SUFFERS FROM ROLLING BLACKOUTS EVER AGAIN. NOT THAT SHE'D HELP THEM OUT. SHE'S TOO COOL FOR CALIFORNIA.



THE WARRIOR-

SOKKA STARTED OUT BEING A SEXIST PIG. BUT THEN OVER 9000 GIRLS KICKED HIS ASS AND HE WAS CURED. HE IS ALSO KNOWN FOR BEING A SEX GOD AND THE SARCASM KING. HIS ALTER EGO IS WANG FIRE. NEED I SAY MORE, OR MUST I REMIND YOU OF HOW CHUCK NORRIS CHECKS UNDER HIS BED FOR WANG FIRE? OR HOW WANG FIRE CAN IMPREGNATE OVER A BAJILLION WOMEN SIMPLY BY LOOKING AT THEM?

SOKKA IS ~*VERY*~ SKILLED WITH HIS SWORD. HE'S GOOD WITH A BOOMERANG TOO. BUT HE REALLY LIKES TO STICK HIS SWORD IN SOME MEAT.

..WTF WERE YOU THINKING OF? THE BOY LIKES MEAT! HE LIKES BLUBBERED SEAL JERKY! THAT KIND OF MEAT!   BUT HE LIKES THE OTHER KIND OF MEAT TOO. SOKKA IS A CHAMPION MUFF DIVER.


SUBTEXT-

ALRIGHT, LET'S SOUND LIKE RETARDED ZUTARA FANS FOR A MOMENT HERE.

-OMFGBBQ OPPOSITES ATTRACT, SO THAT MEANS THEY BELONG TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!111
-OMFGBBQ OMA AND SHU ~*~*PERFECTLY*~*~ REPRESENT ZUKO AND KATARA  SOKKA AND AZULA. ITS MEANT TO BE!!!!!!
-HE LOOKED AT HER IN THIS ONE SCENE FOR ABOUT A SECOND! OMFGBBQ!!!!
-SHE LOOKED AT HIM IN THIS ONE EPISODE FOR ABOUT FIVE SECONDS!!!!111

NOW THAT WE'RE DONE WITH THAT BS, ON TO THE REAL SUBTEXT! SORT OF.

-OMFGBBQ OPPOSITES ATTRACT, SO THAT MEANS THEY BELONG TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!111
-OMFGBBQ OMA AND SHU BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH
-BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH
-BLAAAAAH.



-IN THE DAY OF BLACK SUN, SOKKA IS CAUGHT STARING AT AZULA'S EPIC BREASTS.
-LATER IN THAT SAME EPISODE, HE SHOVES HER AGAINST A WALL AND ALMOST GRABS ONE OF HER EPIC BREASTS. IF AVATAR WASN'T TV-Y7, HE WOULD HAVE. HE ALSO WOULD HAVE SEXED HER UP GOOD TOO. IF AANG AND TOPH WEREN'T THERE.
-SHE TAUNTS HIM AND IS ALL SEXY ABOUT IT. SHE WAS HOLDING A THROWING KNIFE BECAUSE SHE WAS TRICKING HIS FRIENDS INTO THINKING SHE WANTED TO KILL HIM BUT REALLY, AZULA WANTED HIM TO GET IN HER PANTS. NOT EVEN SHE IS IMMUNE TO SOKKA'S AWESOME
-IN THE FINALE, AZULA LEFT QUITE AN IMPRESSION ON HIM. HE DREW HIS NON-BENDING GIRLFRIEND FIREBENDING. THIS IS A SURE SIGN THAT HE PINES FOR HIS SECRET, EVIL, FIREBENDING, PRINCESSY LOVER.
-THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS NOT THE EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE, LOL.


WHY YOU SHOULD SHIP THEM:

BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH HOT.


OTHER TOTALLY WELL THOUGHT OUT REASONS TO SHIP THEM:

-THEY COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER WELL
-THEY'D BE ABLE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD IN ABOUT THREE SECONDS
-THE HATE SEX WOULD BE OVER 9000 TIMES MORE EPIC THAN ANY OTHER SHIP IN THE UNIVERSE
-YOU SHOULD JUST SHIP THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE THE BEST AND PRACTICALLY CANON ANYWAY. NO ONE WOULD EVER DARE OPPOSE IT! ITS FANCANON!!!!!!!!!111!!111!!1!!!!!!!!11111111ONE
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